Civilization is in the beginning stages of a massive paradigm shift from a rigid and role-based society to one that is fluid. Fluidity in roles impacts our lives in every aspect. We are learning to be fluid in our careers, moving through experiences but following passion. Almost all the great discoveries of humankind were made by someone who was fluid, moving from one career/skill/focus to another. A key first step any individual makes to finding themselves is by rejecting a role they were given. They may have told you to be a doctor, a lawyer, a writer, a farmer, but it was when you say no and find your own path that you find success and happiness.
The first role we are given, even before we are born is gender. Unfortunately, in the role-based paradigm, gender is the third rail. Forty percent of homeless teens are kids who played with gender and were abandoned. But fortunately, in the fluid paradigm, people are finding tremendous success, love and happiness through brave explorations across gender border lines.
Our mission is to accelerate this paradigm shift, making it safe, fun and vibrant for everyone to take part in. This might be as a parent, supporting your baby who is growing to be someone authentic, aware and enlightened. This might be as a sister realizing her brother is finding his femininity. You may be the wife or boyfriend or girlfriend of someone who loves you very much and is beginning to know themselves better through gender fluidity. Our mission is to help everyone understand, support and love the people who are brave enough to find themselves.
Femininity is so complex, abstract and beautiful. There are so many ways to get started expressing yourself as a girl. This is just the starter kit send us your own suggestions!!
We Will Never Fit In Boxes Again
HumanEditorial note: If you haven't yet come across Adore Delano, you could start by reading these recent articles from Vice and Billboard , then watch their Youtube Videos, follow them on Instagram and I'm sorry not sorry, you'll be obsessed. Huge thank you to Aisha [link] and Michelle [link] in particular for being so generous with their time in the interview process.
Adore isn't just another emerging star.
In the last 6 months, Adore has become an icon for the fluidity movement. Adore will simply not be put in a box. Adore is more than YouTuber, not just a drag star, not a boy, not a girl - find a box and you'll find Adore won't fit in it. Even Adore's most devoted fans are unsure of which pronouns to use and when. Adore's YouTube channel is still named "DannyNoriega", Adore's boy name, though the recent video titles on that channel present her name as Adore Delano. Adore presents as a boy and a girl as she and he and they please. Fixing a pronoun just won't do.
Rassellino is an amazing person, we are so proud to be able to tell her story. Rassellino and I had such a deep connection during our interview process that it will be likely that this post is the first of many collaborations together.
"Ever since I was young, I knew I was different. I wanted to be myself but I knew I couldn't be. Nowadays many people are generally more aware about LGBT issues, but back then when I was young the LGBT movement hasn't progressed as much as it is today and I always felt alone. Even though so, I feel like everybody in my highschool already knew that I was different without me having to say anything."
"I used to be bullied - but the bullying was not that harsh. I've noticed in other parts of the world people get beaten up, or even physically abused. But for me the bullying was verbal."
But then again, in my highschool, l notice many were really respectful of me. I was one of the best students in my high school. I would represent my private highschool in competitions such as English debates, Spelling Bee, Science Inventions, English speeches, and even on National Competitions. I feel like they all developed respect for me from these achievements. And I feel like because I was one of the smarties at school, the bullying lightenened.
I won the valedictorian award once in my school too - where every winner of each batch gets their autograph sculpted in the school's wall. My autograph was sculpted on my school's wall, in honor of the winner of valedictorians award. So I know in my hometown I left my mark. That was pretty cool!
"I have been through many dark times as I struggled to express myself, feeling depressed, and struggled with the anxiety of teenage years.
And I always have this passionate love for music. So I started to sing, making song covers on YouTube and Soundcloud to share my passion. And I also started writing and making original songs as a part of my "escape", and to be in a world of my own. "
I was very scared and sad but the internet gave me so much empowerment. At the time, a lot of "Coming Out" videos started to be available on YouTube and seeing these beautiful, honest videos inspired me in a way. Ellen DeGeneres meant a lot to me, I'm beyond inspired to see her journey, to be "out" as LGBT and became very successful gave me so much hope. She's also crazy hilarious, not to forget mentioning.
...Seeing other people being brave to express themselves, and knowing that I can't "wholly" express myself outside, made me channel my self expression through social medias. Social medias gave me a chance not just to discover others like me but a chance for me to be me."
"Now I'm a college student studying fashion, in a design school. Most people here in art school are so artsy and mostly open minded, that makes me comfortable to be myself.
Now I'm more comfortable wearing what I want, and wearing makeup, even if its still more conservative outside compared to what I can do on social media."
My advice is that to never be afraid to be different, to be uniquely yourself. The world needs you, for you. The world needs more colors, diversity is what makes this world more colorful and beautiful."
Cess Rey is a gorgeous brave soul who is expressing herself bravely and with pride. She lives in Davao City. If you haven't read our article on Argie Pabroa who is also there, we adore our presence there.
Her beautiful Mom was the one that truly gave Cess her first support to express true self.
For many men, the biggest barrier to gender fluidity is the threat of losing the woman that they love. Gender orientation is so easy to confuse with sexual orientation, and the only narrative that mainstream culture has is Transparent . We have generally accepted that you either are gay or are not gay, and if you think about being a girl than you should just accept you are gay. That barrier kept me from being honest and open about who I actually was. I never had a crush on a guy, never fell in love with a guy. I always wanted to be around women.
I lived for nearly 11 years in fear of telling my wife about myself. I thought she was going to find it to be a turn off and that she would lose all respect for me. I felt that if she ever discovered this about me it would risk the marriage. We have kids, our life together is my life, I care about my commitment to them more than the universe.
I missed SO many years from a silly fear. But, I was and am lucky. The fears I had were not invalid to have - there are women who can not make the leap and it does lead to divorce and great tragedy - the same type of tragedy that happens to teens who are abandoned. I've tried to break down the larger characteristics you can look at and ways to move very safely in a sunny, loving way to understanding each other.
The dangers of a shared cave and how to avoid the pitfall and be your true self
This has been a really big year for me. After 11 years, I finally told my wife about my gender identity. How I have identified as a girl since I can remember. How I have been dressing in a locked bathroom in the nights, on every business trip. I told my kids about it, and their friends. I told my clients, friends, family and employees about it. Soon an article will come out that resolves the final layer of just being fully public about it. I've written and will write a lot about that.
The same weekend I first told my wife, after she had a chance to understand it, and we had a chance to talk through it all - i had an immediate feeling of having come out of a cave. The RELIEF!!!!!!!! OMG omg omg. The FUN!!!!!!!!!! We had so much love between us, so much intimacy, honesty in our relationship and now we could meet each other all over again. Her understanding how much of what she had always loved was already me as a girl but now without covering. OMG
So, you think, coming out is like coming out of a cave.
But it is *not* a single cave.
This is written for all the millions of men in committed relationships stuck playing a role that prohibits them from finding themselves. I would love to share other's tips and thoughts who have achieved gender fluid marriage please email me email@example.com or DM us on social accounts
I lived 10 years married, hiding from myself and from her. Well, I didn't exactly hide from myself, I explored being feminine though porn. But it was lonely, based in fear and shame. I was sure that she would at best lose respect for me if we knew. I was wrong about it all.
Today I live as a gender fluid person with her in a relationship that is roughly 100x stronger, sexier, deeper, more loving, satisfying and energizing. She bought me my first high heels!!! We buy lingerie and super sexy dresses for each other and ourselves. We have kids. We have sex like we are 18 (we are in our late 30s). Finding yourself is magical but being found and finding each other puts a multiplier effect on magic. Everything in life goes better, is more fun and successful when you get to operate off of that. We are monogamous.
What I lay out below is written as directions. To be honest, that's my hope - that with this effort will begin the effort that ends up unlocking 100 million couples from fear and gives them the gift of each other.
Yoga, Spin, Barre, Pilates are your Gateway to Sunny, Loving Support
You may be one of millions of people around the world who is secretly gender fluid. Maybe you live with your parents, you are married and live with your wife and kids or you live alone but in an general environment which has no idea of who you truly are.
It is SO important to be safe. Risking talking to your parents or family before they (and you) are ready often leads to catastrophe for people. I want you to be as careful as you can so that you can do this is in a way that is sunny, safe, loving and supportive. I also want you to find ways to find and express you are because honestly without finding ourselves and being ourselves we can not find success and happiness at the level the universe intended for us.
These are the stories you don't want to miss today
Fader, Lorena Cupcake and Many Other Important Leaders Release Important Stories
Katelyn Burns' Thread on "Welcome to Womanhood"
Neville Southall saved another goal but this time for gender fluid people
Shon Faye on Misgendering for Hate
Blair Imani not women's liberation
As I've personally come out to my family and friends I've been tracking, sorting and organizing the types of responses that I've gotten myself. I've also been interviewing and talking to hundreds of people who identify as trans or gender fluid and collecting all that feedback as well.
Some of the reactions that I've gotten have just been so beautiful and wonderful it doubles my own energy and triples the connection that I feel to that person. Other reactions leave you feeling as confused as the person you told, totally unsure what they actually think about it and mildly wishing you hadn't ever told them. Of course, the worst is where the reaction is so bad or awkward that it plunges you into dysphoria.
Being gender fluid, trans or gender non conforming is confusing.
It turns out there is one very simple framework that you can use mentally to be not only supportive, but adorable.
Be free in how you develop your sense of identity and your sense of self expression.
Maybe they told you to be a lawyer or a doctor. Maybe they told you that you were not an artist.
Maybe they told you that you are a boy or a girl.
Roles are like clumsy suits of armor that wear down the soul. Like a flower growing between the cracks of concrete in a city, our real selves are trying to be fluid and break through the constructs
Reject a role, find yourself.
We need to celebrate those brave enough to take on the gender construct not be scared of it.
<p>I'm talking about everyone, all of us</p>
We are very excited to be producing some events with Soul Cycle and with Power to Fly in NYC soon. Please let us know if you would like to be considered as a speaker or panelist!!
If you have any trouble with this form on the site, you can click direct to it here: https://goo.gl/forms/TCgTcTL8WdCZYQ6p1
We were lucky enough to get a personal interview and photo shoot with the absolutely amazing and gorgeous Argie Pabroa from Davao City in the Philippines. Her story is beautiful and shows the incredible and beautiful impact of having a supportive family.